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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Getting Back on the Saddle

Hey everyone! It has been a veryyyy long time since I have blogged and I apologize for letting you all down. However, I am getting back on the blogging saddle. I will have new topics as often as possible regarding my life with type 1 diabetes mainly, but also about everyday life or things that are on my mind. Please leave comments on this post with topic ideas, questions you may have about me or anything in general, and things you want to hear about! I look forward to starting fresh; not only here at Juvenated, but in life as well. It is time to wash away the negative from the past and look to the future. Thanks guys!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Healthy Relationships

     There are so many things that go into a healthy relationship, but there are some things that are more important than others. I am going to list my top ten qualities of a healthy relationship and go in depth a little on what is included in these and what it takes to achieve them. In my mind, if your relationship has all of these, it will last.
     1. Balance: This can be defined in many ways and they all apply here. This applies to a healthy balance of time spent together and time spent away, or even a balanced diet amongst the two. Staying fit together is a good way to bond, and giving the other time to be on their own is healthy as well. It is important to know boundaries, otherwise conflicts will occur.
     2. Confidence: For a relationship to be successful, each partner must be confident in themselves, but more importantly they must be confident in the relationship. If one party is constantly worried that the other will leave or cheat on them, they become overbearing and their lack of confidence can become annoying to the other.
     3. Independence: It is important to be independent for the same reasons listed in number one, as well as many others. You can not rely on someone else for your happiness or success in life. If you must have your significant other around to be happy, you will have a sad life. Codependency is dysfunctional. Don't be needy.
     4. Communication: Obviously communication is key. If you have not already made this priority in your relationship, it must be pretty messed up. I could not imagine a relationship becoming serious without talking about things. You must establish a system. Know how to relate with your partner and everything will be easier.
     5. Emotional Openness: This is defined by being able to share emotions as well as being honest. If you do not feel comfortable showing your true emotions in front of your partner, chances are they are not the one for you. It is important to be able to be open to your partner's emotional side as well. It is extremely critical to be able to empathize with your partner's feelings as well as be understanding of things they may say or do to an extent. This will open up your relationship to a whole new level.
     6. Attraction: Attraction is very important. For a relationship to be successful there must be physical attraction on top of the emotional attraction. Without a sex life, a relationship can never reach the truly intimate level.
     7. Unconditional Love: This is not your every day, run of the mill type of love. This is so much more and on a much deeper level. Unconditional means no matter what, without condition. To love someone unconditionally is to love them despite their flaws and imperfections and accept them as they are. This honestly is the true key to a successful relationship.
     8. Inspiration: While you do not want to rely on the other person for everything, you do want them to inspire you to be a better person and to be the bulk of your happiness. You want them to inspire you to do the things you love whether it is with or without you. That is true love.
     9. Flexible: When I say this, I do not mean gymnast type of flexible...although that can be good as well! Haha. I am talking about being non-resistant to change. Life is unpredictable and you do not want someone who will walk out on the last second because something in your plan went wrong.
     10. Sense of Humor: It is very important to laugh together. Spend your time together happy rather than fighting. Find someone who can make you laugh at the littlest things and no matter what kind of mood you are in. Laughing makes the heart grow fonder is what I always say.
     Now that I have listed my top 10, feel free to comment with any others you want to add or even post your own top 10 in the comments. Don't forget to join blogger and follow me!

Monday, April 9, 2012

More Than You Know

     Have you ever wondered if someone is thinking about you? Maybe even dreamed about what they are thinking about? Come on, we are all guilty of this at some point in our lives. For you, I used to do this. Almost daily, I wished that I was on your mind. I thought of you constantly, sometimes to the point of making myself sick. I yearned for you. I cried for you. You never know just what someone means to you until they are taken from you. But it is even worse when they choose to walk away. When you give them everything and get nothing in return. When you think everything is okay, but in their mind it is not. When you have no idea what went wrong or why you are no longer good enough. All of this is what was on my mind. We had plans. But obviously that didn't matter to you. There is so much I want to say to you, but guess what. Instead I will say, I have moved on. I am okay. I have something better. And he is mine.
     In a situation like this, you think you will never move on. You think you will never love again. You think nothing can compare. But you're wrong. I thought all of those things until I met him. Something just clicked. All of my walls, all of my protections, all of my skepticism...burnt to the ground. For some reason, I trust him. I am scared, because this is how we started off. I am scared because I have heard all of the things he has said before. But I have faith. I want to believe. The scars are healing and he only speeds up the process. First we were acquaintances. Brought together by a mutual friend. Then we were friends. Casual, random conversations about our past. Bonding over his car talk. Then we were best friends. Hanging out. Relying on each other. Trusting each other. And now...we are so much more. I don't want to keep us a secret. I want the world to know. He means more to me than he even knows. What he has done for me, I am forever in debt. I never thought things could be normal again. In never thought I would be okay again. But he shows me that I am not some used and broken record, but I am someone capable of feeling and capable of moving on. I am excited for us. I am excited for what we can be and I can't wait to see just that. I won't let him down. I double pinky promise, sealed with a kiss.
     Even though things are complicated, I made a decision and I am sticking to it. A wise friend once quoted, "Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?" It made me think, I am always worried about how others feel with no regards for my own feelings. While that can be a good thing, sometimes you have to worry about yourself first. So finally, I let my heart decide. And it chose him. For the happenings shortly before this decision, I am not the cause. No matter what some may think, I did not fuel that fire. It was long gone before I arrived. I just happened to be there at the right time. People can judge and people can hate, but it will not change the facts. I am sorry they feel this way, but in the wise words of someone special to me, "I'm over it". :) <3

Monday, March 19, 2012

We are the Best Friends that Anyone Could Have

     So I decided that today I am going to blog about the importance of friendship in your life. Everyone needs friends. We may say that we are loners or that we can survive on our own, but it simply isn't true. The fact is, interactions are necessary. Our friends, and even our acquaintances, are our support system. And without a support system we cannot survive. Could your heart survive without your ribs? I think not! The reason for your ribcage is there is to protect the vital organs within. Similarly, your friends protect you from the world. The true ones are there for you in good times and bad. They are there to hold you through the storms, dance with you in the rain, and laugh with you in the sunshine.
     I know it can be hard to let your walls down and trust someone, but hey...take a walk on the wild side and do something different for a change. Be a friend. Make a difference. Trust me, I know walls. In fact, some would call me the queen of walls. But even I have learned that sometimes the walls are best knocked down. Trust is important. Trust is the vital organs of friendship, and the actions of that special person is the ribcage. Those actions protect the trust that is so dear to us. But what is trust? I say it is unconditionally believing that someone wants the best for you and would do anything to achieve that, but everyone has their own definition. Anywhoozers...back to walls. For years I have built up walls to certain people and have even built up walls in general BECAUSE of certain people. Very few peole break through those walls, but the ones who do I am glad of. You guys know who you are :)
     Without my friends I would not be where I am today. A shout out to some of the closest ones: even if we do not talk every day or see each other often...I love you and you are my best friends. Some that I cannot go without mentioning are to be listed below and if you aren't here it does not mean you are not appreciated. Harley, you are my rock and my soul mate. The past two years of living with you has been the best experience of my life. We have grown together and experienced so much. I swear we are going to grow up to have families yet continue to live together. Inseparable. Andy, you are my best friend and I love you so much. I know we have had some rough patches lately, but that does not change my thoughts of you. You have been there for me through so much and I cannot thank you enough. I'm sorry and I love you. Devin, I met you way back in third grade and even though we were separated for a few years, we came back together as if we hadn't spent any time apart and now I consider you one of my best friends. Not only are you there for me unconditionally, but you have introduced me to an entirely new group of best friends. For that I cannot thank you enough. Which, brings me to Ryan. Even though I have only known you a couple months now, I am closer to you than I am with some of my friends that I have known for years. You have helped me through some rough times lately and I am so thankful for you. You can always brighten my day and I hope that never changes. You know I am here for you no matter what you need. Next, I want to mention my little sister Alyssa. Even though we may bicker and be at each others throats sometimes, our friendship never fades. I love you so much and I am so proud of who you are becoming. Family first, always. Love you sistahhcuzz. Lastly, Sarah and Tim. You guys are the brother and sister I never had, but always wanted. Yes, the way we met and the story in between then and now is a little twisted, but hey...when have we ever been normal? :) I am so thankful to have you and your family a part of my life and I hope that never changes. I miss you all so much. What I wouldn't give for a random drive stalking past the houses we know. Give Livi Bug a hug and kiss from Aunt Ashley!

     There is so many other people that I want to mention, but this would be a book by the end of my list, so I am going to stop now. The moral of this post...let your walls fall down and love a little. It's worth it in the end.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Cinderella Complex

     As I sit alone on this Sunday evening, I think about an issue that makes no sense to me. As a female in this society, I was raised in the completely wrong way and my surroundings constantly push me to be something I am not or something that I cannot be proud of. There are three main points to what I am trying to say.
     First of all, ever since we (and I say we as is MOST females) have been raised to think that it is okay for men to treat us like shit. In fact, we are taught that it is a sign of affection. This is totally backwards! When you were a little girl and a boy pushed you down on the playground or called you names, what did your mother tell you when you complained? For most people, the response was "He is only picking on your because he likes you". In what messed up state of mind is hurting someone physically and emotionally a way to show your affection and appreciation for that person? I believe that this mentality that has been instilled within us is the main reason for the complaints of females today. Men complain "girls always date the jerks". Well, that is because we have been taught that when men are douche bags (for a lack of a better word) to us, it means they like us. Therefore, we let them disrespect us thinking that one day they will grow up and show us their true feelings. Ladies. Wake up and realize that being cheated on, beaten, and broken down is NOT the way a man shows he loves you. Go out and find yourself a real man who treats you like a princess.
     My second point...we are also taught that their is a perfect man. Honestly, their is no such thing. No one is perfect. However, someone can be perfect in your eyes. Accepting someones flaws is what makes a relationship perfect. On top of that, we are taught that men will take care of us and always rescue us. One day our prince will come. Blah, blah, blah. Let's take Cinderella for example. Her perfect man meets her and does everything in his power to make her his own. Her prince rescues her from her horrible home life and whisks her away into the unknown. The problem is, we should not be teaching our daughters to rely on a man to take care of them. Teach independence. Take care of yourself and stop searching for the perfect man because he is not out there. Yes, it is true you will find the man of your dreams, but I can promise that in no way will he be perfect. The other thing that bugs me is about the Cinderella complex that we all suffer is we think that we must change for a man to want us. Cinderella was so afraid to let Prince Charming see her for what she truly was that she left her shoe at a party. I mean come on. My view is, if he doesn't love me at my worst, then he doesn't deserve me at my best. You should not have to put on a pound of makeup and push your boobs up to your chin to make someone love you. You want someone who loves you for you, not your body.
     The third and last point that is getting on my nerves is that as a society we are expected to always look our best. You know, sometimes I just want to wear sweatpants in public, throw my hair in a bun, and wipe ALL of the makeup off. The media tells us that you cannot be beautiful unless you have the best clothes, flawless makeup and skin, and the skinniest figure. The last time I checked, curves are sexier than bones. Girls torture themselves trying to meet this image that is supposedly pretty, but honestly it is sickening. I love my friends because they do not care if I have a few extra pounds or haven't updated my wardrobe since high school. I am the same person inside whether I weigh 140 pounds or 240 pounds. And what about all of these girls with their boobs hanging out of their shirts and butts showing out the bottom of their skirts walking to the club in stilettos. Looking for attention much? That is not the kind of attention you want. There is a certain point when there is TOO MUCH cleavage. Just remember you do not have to let it all hang out to win a guy over.
     Well, I think I am done rambling for now. Just had to get that out there. Comments are encouraged please :) Subscribe to my blog and follow me!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Stronger With Time

It certainly has been a very long time. I have been working on myself, to say the least. As I have not fully healed, I have gotten stronger with time. After everything that happened to me this past summer, things got even more complicated. An on again off again friendship with the one I love who no longer loves me back, being stuck between family and friends and that person, and having mixed emotions. Needless to say, I am confused. I am hurt. I struggle every day. But in the end, I know I have my friends and family and that makes everything somewhat better.

I shall start blogging again. Until next time...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me

Hey guys! Wow, it has been a month since I have posted!! My life has been very very hectic. But I am back. You haven't seen the last of me! (Love that song in Burlesque). Anyways, as for what has been up in my life. I am back to school obviously and have sooooo much work to do for classes. I am wrapping up the season of coaching 5th grade volleyball. The girls did SOOO awesome. We are second in the league as of right now, but we have two more regular season games and then tournaments! We also get to coach them as 6th graders next year! Life is going really well right now. Yes, I have my relapses of being down and thinking of the past....but I am okay. I have great friends and I am having the time of my life. :)

Now I am going to move on to my topic for this blog post. Domestic violence. I am just going to vent about my feelings because I got into a debate with someone about this earlier. Domestic violence is the most cowardly thing that can be done. This goes both way, a man abusing a woman or a woman abusing a man. However, I feel it is even more cowardly when a man abuses a woman because most women are weaker than the men in their lives. Speaking to men who abuse: What part of your brain says it is okay to lay a hand on a woman? What says it is a good idea to degrade her, put her down, and make her feel worthless? Why do you have to hurt the ones around you just to feel better about yourself?

In my opinion it is because you feel inadequate. There are many reasons for this, but I am not going to list them all. However, I think the excuse "I was abused as a child" is the dumbest cop out ever. Yes, it is proven that if a child is abused they will be more likely to grow up and become an abuser. But, wouldn't you NOT want to put someone else through what you went through. Does not make sense to me. Seriously grow a pair and have some decency. As for women who abuse their significant other, really girls? We claim to be sensitive and innocent and look at the name you are making for us. I mean seriously people, just stop already.