Healthy Relationships

     There are so many things that go into a healthy relationship, but there are some things that are more important than others. I am going to list my top ten qualities of a healthy relationship and go in depth a little on what is included in these and what it takes to achieve them. In my mind, if your relationship has all of these, it will last.
     1. Balance: This can be defined in many ways and they all apply here. This applies to a healthy balance of time spent together and time spent away, or even a balanced diet amongst the two. Staying fit together is a good way to bond, and giving the other time to be on their own is healthy as well. It is important to know boundaries, otherwise conflicts will occur.
     2. Confidence: For a relationship to be successful, each partner must be confident in themselves, but more importantly they must be confident in the relationship. If one party is constantly worried that the other will leave or cheat on them, they become overbearing and their lack of confidence can become annoying to the other.

     3. Independence: It is important to be independent for the same reasons listed in number one, as well as many others. You can not rely on someone else for your happiness or success in life. If you must have your significant other around to be happy, you will have a sad life. Codependency is dysfunctional. Don't be needy.
     4. Communication: Obviously communication is key. If you have not already made this priority in your relationship, it must be pretty messed up. I could not imagine a relationship becoming serious without talking about things. You must establish a system. Know how to relate with your partner and everything will be easier.
     5. Emotional Openness: This is defined by being able to share emotions as well as being honest. If you do not feel comfortable showing your true emotions in front of your partner, chances are they are not the one for you. It is important to be able to be open to your partner's emotional side as well. It is extremely critical to be able to empathize with your partner's feelings as well as be understanding of things they may say or do to an extent. This will open up your relationship to a whole new level.

     6. Attraction: Attraction is very important. For a relationship to be successful there must be physical attraction on top of the emotional attraction. Without a sex life, a relationship can never reach the truly intimate level.
     7. Unconditional Love: This is not your every day, run of the mill type of love. This is so much more and on a much deeper level. Unconditional means no matter what, without condition. To love someone unconditionally is to love them despite their flaws and imperfections and accept them as they are. This honestly is the true key to a successful relationship.
     8. Inspiration: While you do not want to rely on the other person for everything, you do want them to inspire you to be a better person and to be the bulk of your happiness. You want them to inspire you to do the things you love whether it is with or without you. That is true love.
     9. Flexible: When I say this, I do not mean gymnast type of flexible...although that can be good as well! Haha. I am talking about being non-resistant to change. Life is unpredictable and you do not want someone who will walk out on the last second because something in your plan went wrong.

     10. Sense of Humor: It is very important to laugh together. Spend your time together happy rather than fighting. Find someone who can make you laugh at the littlest things and no matter what kind of mood you are in. Laughing makes the heart grow fonder is what I always say.
     Now that I have listed my top 10, feel free to comment with any others you want to add or even post your own top 10 in the comments. Don't forget to join blogger and follow me!

More Than You Know

     Have you ever wondered if someone is thinking about you? Maybe even dreamed about what they are thinking about? Come on, we are all guilty of this at some point in our lives. For you, I used to do this. Almost daily, I wished that I was on your mind. I thought of you constantly, sometimes to the point of making myself sick. I yearned for you. I cried for you. You never know just what someone means to you until they are taken from you. But it is even worse when they choose to walk away. When you give them everything and get nothing in return. When you think everything is okay, but in their mind it is not. When you have no idea what went wrong or why you are no longer good enough. All of this is what was on my mind. We had plans. But obviously that didn't matter to you. There is so much I want to say to you, but guess what. Instead I will say, I have moved on. I am okay. I have something better. And he is mine.
     In a situation like this, you think you will never move on. You think you will never love again. You think nothing can compare. But you're wrong. I thought all of those things until I met him. Something just clicked. All of my walls, all of my protections, all of my skepticism...burnt to the ground. For some reason, I trust him. I am scared, because this is how we started off. I am scared because I have heard all of the things he has said before. But I have faith. I want to believe. The scars are healing and he only speeds up the process. First we were acquaintances. Brought together by a mutual friend. Then we were friends. Casual, random conversations about our past. Bonding over his car talk. Then we were best friends. Hanging out. Relying on each other. Trusting each other. And now...we are so much more. I don't want to keep us a secret. I want the world to know. He means more to me than he even knows. What he has done for me, I am forever in debt. I never thought things could be normal again. In never thought I would be okay again. But he shows me that I am not some used and broken record, but I am someone capable of feeling and capable of moving on. I am excited for us. I am excited for what we can be and I can't wait to see just that. I won't let him down. I double pinky promise, sealed with a kiss.
     Even though things are complicated, I made a decision and I am sticking to it. A wise friend once quoted, "Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?" It made me think, I am always worried about how others feel with no regards for my own feelings. While that can be a good thing, sometimes you have to worry about yourself first. So finally, I let my heart decide. And it chose him. For the happenings shortly before this decision, I am not the cause. No matter what some may think, I did not fuel that fire. It was long gone before I arrived. I just happened to be there at the right time. People can judge and people can hate, but it will not change the facts. I am sorry they feel this way, but in the wise words of someone special to me, "I'm over it". :) <3