Quick Update

I haven't been in the best of moods and haven't felt like blogging very much, but I figured I would give you all a quick update on my life. Things are still unsolved with Andrew, just patiently waiting. My knee has gotten better. I took the bandages off and cleaned it up and have been having less and less pain. I am putting weight on my leg when walking with crutches and have significantly cut back my pain medicine. Along with all of the positive, comes the negative. I am SO terribly bored sitting in my bedroom all day every day. Netflix, Yahtzee, Rummy, word games, and Color By Number have kept me sane...along with all of my friends and family. My visitors have been wonderful. Special thanks to a few extra-special friends who made my days go by easier:

Matt Glover: Thank you for that wonderful candy basket courtesy of the store. It has brought a little flavor to my boring life! Thanks, also, for sitting with me while my mom ran errands and keeping me company :)

Paris Hall: Thanks for the visit after work and the pop! It was awesome to have a little change on the menu of drinks haha.

Harley Rohrbacher: Girl, you are the best. You are my best friend and your visits have cheered me up soooo much. Playing Yahtzee and talking was great. Can't wait for our girls night. We are getting an apartment in like a couple weeks! Ahhh. So exciting. You are the best and you know me better than I know myself sometimes. We are practically the same person. Love you girl.

Andy DeNucci: Oh boy, what to say about you. You are seriously one of the best friends a girl could ask for. You know how to treat your girl friends and you know just what to say to make me feel better. You came home from vacation and the first chance you got, you were at my house visiting me. You are my best friend and I am sure there will be many more visits to come...and we can finish that elephant movie haha. Love you bestfrienddd.

My mom and dad have also been so helpful through this whole process. I can't thank all of you enough. Love you all.

Ash

Troubles

This post is going to be very short. I am at a point in my life right now where I am not happy. I am having a few issues with my life. First of all, things are complicated with Andrew. In case you are reading this Andrew, you are the love of my life. I want to spend forever with you and I don't care when that begins, but please come back to me like you promised. Take your time to be who you want to be and get your life on track, but come back to me. I will be waiting...impatiently, but waiting. And in the meantime I hope you will still be my best friend. You are the perfect man for me. I believe in the man you want to be and the man I know you can be. You are my rock, my best friend, and I cannot thank you enough for the past seven years. Please don't let it end. Second, I just had major knee surgery. They did a medial strengthen (meaning they tightened the ligaments on the inside of my knee cap), a lateral release (meaning they severed the ligaments on the outside of my knee cap), split my shin bone, and a patellar realignment (meaning they moved my patellar tendon to the middle of my shin where it should be). I am in a lot of pain and I am on heavy pain medicine, which is why I am making this post short. My words start jumbling when I take my medicine because it makes me tired. I am hoping to cut my pain meds down tomorrow because the pain has decreased a tiny bit. I am also taking the bandages off of my knee tomorrow hopefully.

To wrap this up, my life is at a stand still right now for the most part. I am bored, confused, sad, in pain, hurt, dazed, anxious, and so many more emotions. Part of me feels happy sometimes because I am keeping busy to keep my mind off of things, but when I get bored I start thinking and things cross my mind that make me sad again. I hope things get better soon. For those of you who know me personally, I welcome visitors whenever because it sucks being stuck in your bed with nothing to do.

Goodnight
Ash

Who Ever Said Change Was A Good Thing?

Who ever said change was a good thing, was wrong! Well at least that is how I feel right now. So I know it has been a while since I have blogged, but here it is 11:45pm and I am awake because of...what other than...my diabetes. I had an appointment with my endocrinologist yesterday and we made some major changes to my insulin plan. Throughout the day today, my blood sugar readings were good and I was excited to see that things were going well. Then 8pm rolled around. I had eaten dinner with my boyfriend and his dad and a half hour later my sugar was 51! When I checked my pump it said that despite my bad low, I had 11 units of insulin in my system still working on bringing my blood sugar down even farther! Of course I panicked...but I called my doctor and got things straightened out. Andrew helped me through it and I started feeling a little better by the time he dropped me off at home.

NOW! Three hours later, my blood sugar is 400. I JUST CANT MAKE DIABETES HAPPY. I am unbelievably frustrated and I can tell this is going to be a reallyyyy long night :( But instead of crying and being sad, I am going to tell you my exciting diabetes news. My A1C was 10.9% last appointment. (Yes I know really bad). Yesterday at the doctor I found out it is now 8.8%! That is a whole 2.1% decrease!!! HOORAY! :)

Now I am going to curl up with a warm blanket, a shirt that smells like Andrew, and a nice movie and attempt to get some rest...or at least calm down a little and let the insulin do its job. Goodnight all.

Ash

Stand Strong Together, Never Give Up

I haven't blogged in a while, but I figured I am not busy now so I should write a new post. First a quick update on what is going on in my life. As said in the last post, I have to have surgery. I was off of work for two weeks already due to my injury. One week was for recovery and the second week was for vacation. I spent the week at my campground spending time with family and my boyfriend. We took a day trip to Cleveland to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in which Andrew pushed me in a wheelchair through the whole museum. Haha. I started my online summer classes this morning and today was my first day back to work after the injury.

Now for the real reason for my post. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Mostly about my life and my relationship with Andrew. I have had some jerk ex-boyfriends and have been through my fair share of drama, but I have finally found someone who treats me as I deserve to be treated and would do anything for me. Yes, we have our fights and our arguments just as any couple would, but we always make up. It seems like we cannot go an hour being mad at each other before one of us apologizes and initiates the talking things out. Our motto is "Never go to bed angry with each other". This has proven effective because then neither one of us has a sleepless night wondering what the other is thinking or wondering if the other is extremely upset with the other.

The moral of my post (and what has come out of my thinking) is that no matter what happens between Andrew and I, I plan to work it out as long as he wants to work it out, too. There is a short list of things that would make me leave him without even trying to make things work. We have had a few small rough patches in our relationship, and we have had many rough patches in our 8 years of friendship, but we always managed to get through them and go right back to normal. And the reason for this is because we did it TOGETHER. Anything is possible if you stand by the one you love. Stay strong together as one and don't separate in a time of turmoil. If you are truly in love with someone, no matter how upset that person makes you...you should still turn to them for comfort. Want to know who I go to when Andrew makes me mad or sad? Andrew. No matter how mad I get at him, he is always the one I go to when I need to talk or need a hug. It has always been that way. He has been my best friend for going on 8 years now and he still remains my best friend.

Well, now that I have gotten all emotional I am going to end this with one of my favorite phrases and tear-filled eyes. Forever My Superman babe. I love you.

Ash

Surgical Surprise

So, as said in my last post, I injured my knee. After visiting the orthopedic surgeon this past Friday, I found out that I will need surgery on my knee! :( The surgery will be July 18, early in the morning. They are going to sever the ligaments on the outside of my knee and tighten the ones in the inside to prevent my kneecap from dislocating again. They are also realigning my shinbone by moving my patellar tendon into the right spot and holding my bone in place with screws. I am super scared, but not even really for the surgery part. The part that freaks me out the most is that it will be the first time in the 3 years I have had diabetes that I will not be in control of my diabetes and blood sugar. I have to rely on the doctors to take good care of my sugar while under the anesthesia. The thought of that freaks me out like no other.

But as always Andrew has made me feel more confident. He has promised to be there before I go into surgery, waiting in the waiting room while it is going on, be there next to me as soon as I wake up, and be there all day after I go home with me. God love good boyfriends! :)  Anyways, if anyone out there has any advice or success stories about surgery and diabetes I would love for you to share!

Ash

Teeter-Totter Fallout

So, as some of you may know, last Saturday the 11th I was at my campground and I fell off of a teeter totter and injured my knee. I popped my knee cap out. My boyfriend carried me to my camper and fell himself in a hole in our deck! BUT he didn't even drop me or let my leg hit the ground or camper. That's a night in shining armor. He is okay, just a few scrapes that he says doesn't hurt. I spent a few hours in the hospital and they told me nothing was broken or fractured, but I cannot find out if anything is torn until I get an MRI. I have an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon on Friday, so we will see. I am in a big brace and on crutches as of right now. I am off work, too. All I can do is sit around. My lovely boyfriend has done his best to keep my company :) Thank God for him. Well, I am off to finish watching my movie. I will probably be writing a lot during the next couple weeks.

Ash

TEACH Me To Inform

As some of you know I want to be a teacher. I am currently in school studying Early Childhood Education. My goal is to teach second grade. Something I have thought a lot about is, how do I explain to my students about my diabetes? I will have an insulin pump on my hip every day and may have low blood sugars or other symptoms during class time in which I would have to pause class. What do I say? Once again this is a really short post, but I was just wondering if anyone out there had any suggestions? It is a hard subject to explain to young children and I want to do it efficiently when I have my own classroom.

Goodnight,  Ash
Ps. Today is 8 months for my wonderful boyfriend and I...and many more to come :) Love you babe.